“Lexophile" is a lover of words and word games, for instance, “you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish" or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile. Below are a few clever examples.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A Will is a dead giveaway.
Police were summoned to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired!
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done, which is the point of it.
When you get a bladder infection - urine trouble!
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
If anyone has any jokes or funny stories, feel free to send them to me for the humour section of the Bulletin! Email them to helen.gulson@ozemail.com.au
